Me, Myself & Everybody ( including IRINY )

It was worth for William wordsworth to say " It's good to love someone than not to love", may be because he had someone to love or praise. May be because he was happy to have someone who was there to be loved. Its so, because people usually make a point ( which later become thoughts) only when either they r happy or sad. And its quite a good guess that william dear was happy. Now, there comes the sole reason of writing this post, it's HAPPINESS.

Last evening during one of those obnoxious bus rides, a war broke out between me & myself. There have always been HOT wars between the two of them. Something u could call as an internal discussion. But this time it was quite serious, as it involved me, myself and everybody else. And also that the fight was over happiness. Whether me ( i.e. I ) is happy or not.

This has always occurred to me, whenever i would see a couple around (mind u i m not a girl woooer, though i like them), how desperately i wished to have someone with me aswell, someone to understand me, someone to talk to, someone to love. And whenever i wished so, the question of myself being happy rose as high as (the late) Twin Towers. Whenever i would see a women happily married with her husband (its just an example, don't dare to take it otherwise), i thought am i as happy as she is. Is it a false happiness that i m running after ??????? I don't know.

Can hapiness come to me only when i would have a girl ?????? What am i exactly lookin for. Why is it that my hapiness, my life,my thoughts, my deeds & my needs r influenced by others. (including girls). Do i have an identity ?(As a lover ). Or is it that i have never looked out for one. I have been walking behind blindly, influenced blindly, like a SHEEP. Ya, influenced by the cheap sheep society.

Hey hey hey !!!! i m not a dead freak, who is full of sorrow. There have been times when i have been happy right from the bottom of my heart. And its not that i m drowned in seas of sorrow these days. I m happy even today, but its just that something is missing. All i want to know is that is the "something missing" an illusion or a reality.
Though I try to be happy watching the beauty around me, by praising the beautiful faces i see (only girls i m talking of ;) ) . But still something that i want is not there. There is something that i m looking for, something that others have but i don't.

I m not trying to prove that i m the unluckiest person in the entire universe, i feel lucky of having such nice parents, loving brothers, caring friends and i feel lucky to be able to see such beauty around me, to be able to hear the nice music playing on the PC behind me, to be able to sense fear, danger, darkness, light, hope, hapiness. To be able to understand love ( which i feel i do understand, how stupid !!!!! ) and i feel blessed because i know that one that i would be able to understand love, one day there will be someone who will make me understand it.

So, why such anxiety, its all because i feel something is missing.

May be there would be a time of completeness, a time of hapiness, a time of praise, a time of love and then i would say to u all :

Hey guy " Love is in the air ............................I can smell it , i think i m in LOVE !!!!

Lets hope for the best. As me( I ) says " Its better to have hope than to cry,
its like a rope with which u can climb
----- the skies of dream
And, if u have dreams
U have something to achieve
So keep walking the road to love
one day u will find ur special one "

Yapeeeeeeee !!!!
May be i cannot write a poem but atleast i can write a paragraph.
Who says i m not good at writing (poems cum paragraphs).