oct 5 .... 2k5

woke up in the morning .. and wasnt in good mood at all. I guess it was cause since last two dayzzz i have had a blasting mood .. "HAVENT BEEN HAPPIER" kinds .. but then lifes not a peice of cake .. and even if it is .. the taste changes evry single time. SO even if u have some pretty damn good reasons to be happy .. certain things .. or certain people to be precise .. wont let u be happy. But r they really to be blamed for this .... now tht i have started believing tht whtevr happens in life is already planned .. so i might not blame anybody .. not even myself. But then one may ask .. then why do we do things?? ... well we actually dont do things ..we r just involved in them .. cause we r supposed to be involved & so r others .. SO NO ONES TO BE BLAMED ACTUALLY .

Hey i didnt went home today .. i really hate this .. when my decisions r driven based on others decisions. I knw thts pathetic .. but thts the way it is. And i do blame myself here. I knw its confusing. But whos not confused on this mother EARTH .. atleast i m .. for sure [ no confusion in tht ;) ]. BUt finally got tomorrows ticket so tht i m bound to go.

Apart frm this i have some better thing to say here ::::

O dear LORD !! I dont knw who u r .. i dont evn knw whether u exist or not .. but theres something tht i do believe in .... and i knw thts somewhere inside me only. Though I havent found it yet. But whtevr it is .... let me call it GOD [ i m no exception ] ..

So dear GOD !! i wish to thank u today for whtevr u gave me. I know i have been criticising destiny .. tht u wrote for me .. but aint i HUMAN ?? And i guess i m supposed to behave this way only. SInce all these years of my life .... i have seen lots of people around .. GOOd .. bad .. ugly .. poor & rich .. lovely & caring .. pretentious & wild .. and i have always thought of being among the RICH, the GOOD & the LOVELY ..

I thank u tht u have always infused me with such nice thoughts [ i feel it tht way ] tht i havent been bad. Though i have few regrets in my life ... U gave me the best parents .. loving brothers .. aNd some very caring friends. U might have missed on few things [ ;) ] but i guess tht hasnt been much of a pain.

And i pray to u tht i change the least during the rest of my life. And nobody those i love part frm me [ exaggerated .. but quite humanistic ]. JUst need some blessings .. and the life wud be rocking again .. [ ya forsure i have had some very good times in my life .. havent been always pathetic yaar ]

And i pray tht i have the same love & respect for my parents & bros. I willing bear my responsibilities .. now & at later stages ..

No specifications for love life till now ;) . Its been pathetic till now .. but it hardly matters .... sometimes its even worth crying for no good reasons .. or for some stupid reasons.

So just be with me .. as u have always been .

AMEN !!