f.r.i.e.n.d.s
This one is with reference to the last post !! Well thers this friend of mine whos not into blogging world but is quite benevolent to read my posts & appreciate them when he really likes them. So he liked this about the last post ::
So in all its been a great year . A year where i have realised tht love aint about holding .. its abt lettin go & freedom , friendship aint about being close .. its about being there always .. lending a shoulder be it real or virtual .. showering a smile be it real or an E - Smile .... understandin the other & lettin him understand u ..
Since i dont have anything specific to right about so lemme elaborate a bit.
Wont talk abt love cause people think that i m obsessed with it, which i m not. And moreover even i dont feel like writing about it now .. so why to blame others.
Friendship ----
If i would have been as illitrate as sneha I would have called friendship a rainbow. Yups a rainbow. Its a mix of lots of colors. Red, blue, green, yelllow, orange .. almost all .
Disclaimer :: This ones gonna be hard .. quite hard on me .. i have decided to criticise now .
So friendship is a mix of lotsa colors. Almost every individual knows that friendship means " always being there " but has anyone ever tried to figure out what do we really mean by being there. Are the moments of being there only those moments when one feels BLUE or when ones partying . To me its just one part of it. I mean i have seen so many people yelling out all inside them even in front of strangers [ CHATTING ].. may be cause they know that they wont have to look in to their eyes while talking or may be they have this option of escaping that person in case it doesnt work ,jst bcause for him/her he/she doesnt exist phsically . I have done tht lotsa times [ may be not now .. times change ].
TO me being their is when one really want someone .. when one really wants someone whom they call " F.R.I.E.N.D ". The times when u want someone to trust u & when u can trust him/her. Trust is the crux here. Trust is the crux of friendship . When u can trust someone such that if u yell out things his eyes wont lie , he wont consider it as JST ANOTHER STORY AROUND , he wont make fun of u if its a serious one, he wont yell it out to others as these things r difficult to digest [ The problem of indigestion is not only with girls .. its with boys as well .. seriously ] . Its a risky initiative that one takes .. to trust someone .. the risk is .. Is it too early to trust .. or Is it even worth it .
See :: Friendship is like a play . A play of two characters [ considering two individuals only ]. And a play is successful only if each character plays his/her role to the best of his/her potential . Similarly , friendship is successful only if both individuals trust one another to the best of their ability of trusting.
Now one might say tht one has to jst play his/her part & leave rest to the other. But does it really work in the world of today . If u wish to convert some acquintance to a friendship based on trust .. and u have done evrything u cud possibly do & the other person is unaffected & doesnt respond .. how long will u stay ?? Wud u wait for eternity ?? Do we even have so much time !!
So according to me friendship is a relation which sways on the bridge called trust .. with river of pain running down .. a violent flow. And it swings well & stays there forever if the bridge is well constructed & decently maintained. Strong Winds of misinterpretations might try to turn it upside down .. but as i said if it the bridge is strong .. it doesnt require any other technology to maintain balance. IT will survive on its own. The thing is how strong this bridge cud be.
Disparaging ::
I have this group of 12 friendz (includin me ). great buddies. Share lots of stuff specially FOOD :D . It all started frm d begining .. people went out & joined .. and it was almost final till 2 nd sem . [ Being diplomatic i m supposed to say .. all the batch's my friend .. which is true as well .. but since i have been along with these 11 for max .. so i can dare to comnt only on them ].
" WE R ALWAYS THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER " .. r we ?? sure we r .. but one things lacking .. and its tht god damn trust .. [ HE here means THEY .. all other 11]
lemme elaborate .. see even trust is of 2 types [ may be more ] ..
1. U trust tht he/she wont stab on ur back. He/she wud be the one who will get u an extra sheet of assignment when u have bunked .. and hes ur proxy man. U trust tht he wont leave his examination seat jst to sit next to a better person. U trust tht he would be the one shouting at his peak when ur out there .. on the field .. in a baddy match . But thts quite materialistic & very much expected. The bare minimum .
2. Heres the important one. The one i mentioned in the play exmpl. I trust u .. u trust me. I yell out things .. u arent supposed to be secretive. I tell u some stupid stuff .. u arent supposed to pull my leg .. tht too jst because i pulled ur leg someday .. sometime .... friendship aint about taking a revenge.
[ I apologise for being a ruthless legpuller though .. but nevr intended to hurt neone .. but who knws wht hurts him & wht doesnt .. so i m sry ]
SO its the second one tht lacks.
Example ::
U guys remeber tht nite .. when the power went off . We were in dj's room .. all of us. Pulling one anothers leg .. having a hell lota time . Enjoying every bit of our friendship .. strengthening the bond . Donno but frm somewhere came this idea of telling stories about our past [ BACHPAN SE JAWANI TAK ] . And as a normal guy 2 guy talk is .. it was all about crushes & loves of ur life. As always in lime lite .. i was the choosen one .. the first one .. [ I M QUITE OPEN IN UTTERING THIGS OUT ] . I trusted u all .. each & evryone of u .. [ both kinds of trust ] .. i yelled it all . Told all tht was in here .. things tht even best of my friends outside college might not know . Then it was your turn . NO body spoke. I pin pointed .. took the names .. but none was ready . None spoke . U all maintained ur secrecy. If there was nothing [ which is imposssible ] no one didnt even said ' theres nothin worht telling ' .... rather it was ' ur a fool if u yelled it all .. u shud knw these games' . None has ever been ready. U might say u were shy .. lol .. so any of u have any idea how shy a guy i have been in my school life . It doesnt sound a big deal right ? .. jst another joke .. but only the GOAT knows the pain when its head goes off.
[ expml ends ]
And may be the trust didnt died that day . I m good at forgettin things .. but i do put them at the back of my head .. sweet or bitter memories.
And since then things havent been better. We all have been pals & for sure will be buddies all our lifes. Will recite stories of our friendship to our children & wives. Being a part of each others life .. but still somethings will lack . Well may be bcause they say " NO RELATION IS PERFECT " . or may be i m jst thinking too much .
And the trust factor is dying day by day .. we hug each other .. praise each other .. encourage & motivate each other .. support .. cuddle & cry together. But do we trust one another [ the 2 nd type ] ?? Do we ?? Do I ?? Do U ??
And may be this has lead to some kind of - limiting our trust to 1 or 2 . OR may be if i m not wrong it is me who have both kind of trust on 1 or 2 & i guess many dont even have tht on 1 or 2 . Most of u prefer to be secretive. But then frienship is also not a relation one is to be forced in to. Its ur life .. ur wish !!
Question ::
Is it [TRUST] really required ???? A billion dollar question . The answer is NO . WE have been great friends & will continue to be .. whtever happens under the sun . Evryday .. evrynite . But all we will miss is being called " THE BEST OF FIRNEDS EVER " .. do we care ?? Truly speaking .. I DO !!
SO buddies i know its gonna be hard but still lets infuse some more confidence in one another. Lets enter the sea of trust .. i know its exposed to lotsa storms .. but cant we face them together ??
HEY ..
But whtever happens we will sure be f.r.i.e.n.d.s
PS :: I aint no saint .. and i m not sayin that i m the best & most kind among us all. Rather i m d most ruthless leg pulller ever :D .. the most untrustworthy .. the least caring .. but i m a part of us . And tht does matter. I know i m up for some a** busting stuff . But u cant really figure out how hard the decision of writin this has been . But sometimes u need to dare .. for ur own sake . SO if i jst offended any of u .. MAAAF KAR DE BHAI ;) .. abe saale 2 ghante lag gaye likhte likhte
radiohead signed off at 7:54 AM
26 Comments:
good that u wrote all this man..
trust.. yes. i agree.
i wouldnt want to describe friendship, cos i dont think its justified. there r so many dimensions to friendship, so much more n new to this relationship, that it'll be unjustified to just talk about one aspect or even ten aspects at a time..
my friends [i mean the ones i am close to n the ones i proudly call friends..] r the ones with whom i hang out, talk, share loads of stuff n they do the same, love, hug, laugh, cry, ...even sit n stay silent together. cos silence speaks a hell more.
...friends: you cant ever say you know someone in and out, until u r dead sure what the next reaction of a person is going to be...on any incident..... thats the strongest bonding n understanding...
i think i havent made much sense..
anyways!
best wishes
Rohit.
"U trust tht he/she wont stab on ur back"
your bare minimum has high standards buddy..this is the the highest point of friendship.
We havent faced times that have tested our friendship.
Leg pulling yes I may sometime go to the extreme..even without bothering to know what other people might feel about it.
You share and I do not....correct
But if you share anything secret with me it remanins in my heart n does not go out thts friendship.
I dont share ..why..it means I do not trust you..wrong.
Sharing infront of person with whom u chat is easier....u yourself gave the reason.
Sharing wid a person whom you meet day in day out....requires time..In our case its just takin a hell of a time. But believe me I have shared wid you many things ...just remember a few...you know a lot about my school days tht even my school frnds dont knw abt.
As for we finding 1 or 2 people to share wid within the group ..dont knw abt u ...but i have found none....NO ONE...maybe you but then i havent shared much with you.
But making only this the criteria for friendship is not correct....if i dont share wid u..it no way means i dont trust you. Freindship is I and you both wait n are ready to listen whenever one of us feels like tellin anything...pulling the leg sometime..but knowing when the other person is speaking frm his heart...
You are one of d most loved guy in the group...the most open..but keep dis in mind..not everyone can be Anuj....all are different in nature
"Best Friends Ever"..dont knw abt dis...but all i know..if my friends stand by me..even if its only ur first kind...i'll be blessed.
And yes I'll confess one thing out here...I dont love everyone in this 12...also not everyone loves me..but yes I'll stand by all 12..I can fight with anyone inside..but if somebody frm outside decides to fight with my buddies ..ill stand wid the 12 even if we r wrong.
I hope, unlike my post, dis made some sense....
But before ending....beautiful post..better than anything you have written so far...really loved it
And yes "WE'LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS"
P.S. but yeah we'll talk over dis..maybe sometime..when both are ready to speak and listen
I love reading your post. Do you know why? Because sometimes it makes lots of sense and sometimes it does not, but it has lots of rmblings, which I like a lot :)
I don't know whether your definition of friendship is agreable to me, because friendship has different levels, different faces and different tones. Friendship is an entity to itself and it is impervius to the light of human understanding. One may write a thousand page book on Friendship but still it would not be complete. Because, being in Friendship is like being in Love, one cannot quite grasp the idea easily and never understands fully.
Your stories, anecdotes and examples are quite fun to read about. But I am curious about something. 12 friends. I am going to talk to you about some serious business.
And about trust between these 12 friends of yours ( including yourself ), don't be so sure that one cannot betray you. Even Judas was a great man before he betrayed Jesus. But yes, whatever happens, you 12 will always be friends. That is what the stars wills.
" On the East, three Gates; on the North, three Gates; on the South, three Gates; on the west, three Gates. And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the name of the twelve apostles of the Lamb."
Revelations 21:13
There are 12 astrological signs. All great spiritual leaders have had 12 followers. The 12 tribes of Israel were founded by the 12 sons of Jacob. The people of Greece worshipped 12 gods, and there were 12 princes of Ishmael. THe great Osiris of Egypt had 12 followers, and the Aztec Quetzalcoatl had 12 deciples. There are 12 gods in the Brahman ZOdiac.
King Arthur has 12 Knights of the Round Table. Buddha had 12 disciples. THere were 12 altars of St. James and 12 divisions of Solomon's Temple.
And, as we know, Jesus chose 12 diciples.
So, there is a reason why you 12 friends glue to each other. Because you make a complete set. The 12 apostle, the 12 signs, the 12 diciples, the 12 gates, the 12 foundations and the 12 towers. Ofcourse there are deeper esoteric meanings.
@ ROhit :: tht is true .. friendship has infinite dimensions .. some which might have even been discovered. Mine was jst one point of view . Or rather it was how i felt for my friends and how i was worried whether we r goin the right road or not. BUt then is it worth discussin ?? donno .. cause sometimes it jst better to keep walkin down the road & not to question .. times & conditions will test whether ur goin right or not. And as usual may be i m jst thinkin tooo much .
lol .. u made all sense buddy .. u always do .
ANd abt friends .. see i consider u my friend .. and there r lots more people out there whom i havent met ever but they share a lot wid me & i share a lot wid them too . ANd i call them my friends will all pride, respect & hapiness . BUt as i said this post was all abt my 12 gr8 friends . May be i was unnecessarily confused .. but to me things didnt looked fine since few days .. so jst wrote my self out.
@ dhruv :: YEs ur right .. we havent been put to a test yet... & i hope we arent cause i dont want any surprises :D . ANd abt tht stabbing on the bck .. yes thts my bare minimum & for me tht starts the day i tell one tht UR MY FRIEND .. i have high expectations .. but jst cannot chng it :D
ANd as per u .. its not only u .. who dont share .. its lots of them .. and evn i m a part .. u guys jst knw some very obvious stuff .. may be its better this way .. cause somethings r better not told .. u took birth .. carry them with u allthrough & die with it .. they remain inside u . ANd its better tht way only .
But the worry tht i have is tht .. things seem to diminish a bit .. see eating together, playin, laughin , cuddlin, hugging all these stuff wud have evn happened if i wud have been somewhere else cause if i m living in a community i m bound to do all tht to be happy & have people around me. SO thts why its the bare minimum . BUt TRUE FRIENDSHIP demands a bit more .
But sometimes things r supposed to be left as it is & let them take their natural path . SO i jst said wht i had to say ;) .... and i felt happier after writin tht .. its not tht i gave tht exmpl to show tht I was exploited sometime .. i wasnt .. u people have nevr made fun of me on tht .. but it was jst an exmpl to show tht if u expect somethings frm me thn i expect the similar things frm u as well.
AND abt leg pulling .. abe tu mera ustad thode hi hai .. i m the most ruthless & most inconsiderate one . SO it shud be all upon my a** . But u guys r so kind :D .
and lolz i aint tht gud as u think me to be .. hehe .. its gud if u think so though :D .
abe bahut senti batein ho gayin .. lets get bck to usual stuff dude .. bata kiski WAAT lagayein ;)
@ johney :: WOW all this sounds so heavenly :D
hmm thts wht u call highly optimistic .. but now u will say tht ur ordinary ;)
yups friendship does have different levels .
thnkx for such a relaxing cmnt. loved it .
This is fucking strange tht being a room apart we are talking over dis comment section..but its gud this way :)
"u expect somethings frm me thn i expect the similar things frm u as well"
............very true
"i hope we arent cause i dont want any surprises"
...dont know but i think i have given many a surprise to the group and one shocker was recieved as well...
but then as you said somethings are better left as they are...and allowed to take their natural path
But still i have faith in one thing..
saying tht u share with me ..and hence i should share with u..and then only will it mean true friendship..sorry but wont agree on tht
I think true friendship doesnt mean u know abt me everything.....it means tht u have the faith tht you will be the first to know whenever i say anything in open...and if my friend doesnt know a thing about me..then it also means tht no one else in the world apart frm me knws tht thing...
and true friendship means you are always ready to listen and say to me anything u feel like....and whenever u feel like..and it doesnt matter if I have ever told you anything like tht you are not bothered by tht..
So its all about tht FAITH...not about knowing everything.
saying again ...one of ur best posts
aur saale bahut bakwass ho gayi hai..is se accha tu to romantic hi tha :)
hehee. whats there in meeting.. mil lete hain kabhi if u r in delhi..
@ dhruv :: well thts a gud thing tht u came up with . FAITH. As u said its really imp to have faith on one another.
Its hard to figure out an appropriate diff between faith & trust.
But lets not get in to this mess of words. Ohk i do have faith on u tht i wud be the first one to knw abt u . But i wud be tht first one only whn u can trust me compltly. And i knw its on my part how much trust i can gain on ur part .
"i think i have given many a surprise to the group and one shocker was recieved as well" .. since i dont remember any such evnt probably ur taking something a bit more hard on u than u shud. So jst chillx .. theres nothin such thing .. and evn if it is .. we havnt given it much importance so its not a thing to worry abt.
"I think true friendship doesnt mean u know abt me everything" .. thts right .. but as i said na i have high expectations .. but now i kinda understod wht ur tryin to convey .. got it.
ROMANTIC .. phir se shuru kar di tune .. hehe ( jst kiddin ) .. abe koi romantic nhin hoon .. sab bakar hai .. dosti hi jyada achi cheez hai :D .
and this place is quite decent to discuss all this . Samne ate hain to normal rehte hain .. thts gud ;) .
@rohit :: sure. wud love to.
was just hearing dis song by a grp 3 Doors Down
"I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite "
And i have trust n faith both in you....even if I am closed...n its not because u dont make efforts...its somethin to do with me...but All I request is dont loose hope on me...do be ready always to listen..cause I knw someday i will need someone
aur ROMANTIC bhi bura nahin hai ;)
all i can say is long live ur frndship..jes tc of each oder...rest time will decide,who gets to stay n who leaves:-)
Friends r for free
hmmm.. r u in delhi?
@ dhruv :: nice song .. abe its nothin to do wid u .. actually har koi vaisa hi hota hai jaisa vo hota hai . See when i didnt knew u .. we wwere still jst rooms apart .. in d mornin we wnt to d same bathrrom [ different cabins though :D] .. i knew u were my batch mate .. but did we even said a hello or a gud mornin ... no nevr. Even i was as shy as u were . to badalne ka to koi sawal hi nhin hai.
lolz evn today whn i travel i rarely talk to people . This very idea of " AAp kahan tak jayenge bhaisaab " is so absurd to me .. i cant do it . Very contained to myself. so u see shy to dono hi hian . and lolz u can turn up anytime dude .. nwthin u wanna say or share . and i trst u too .
come on do we have to really tell each other this stuff ..... ye to gadbad ho raha hai .... it wasbad to write all this . It shud be all unsaid buddy. friends r people who r nevr exposed to explain .. it already understood. but this discussion in general is great . I m gettin to knw wht u really mean by friendship & u r gettin to knw wht i feel . Knowledge right :D . ANd u see the comments increasin exponentially ;) .
@ milo :: yups we will . And i m here 2 take care of as well buddy ;) . I mentioned jst my 12 friendz .. but ur also a part of my friendship .. so jst wanted to knw wht do u think abt friendship . It wud be nice to knw ur views & expectations. MAy be u shud rite a post abt it .. vaise bhi apne bade dino se update nhin kiya hai :D . so buddy go on & write.
@ mani :: oye wht beautiful post praaji . great it felt as if i was jst readin my own mind :D. very nice post.
A friend is one ::
1. If hes online even after me .. i dont wait for him to Messg me [ someone jst told me some kinda chattin rule .. if one comes online after u .. he is bound to messg u .. u r not suposed to messg first ]
2. I dont mind callin him again & again evn if he hast callled since long .. i mean its not like .. I call .. u call .. only then i call .
3. If we spot a gal together .. hehe .. its a big fight [ the fun is no ones gonna get her ;) ]
& lots more . all tht u said.
And abt people comin & goin .. well thts true .. its part of life & u have to jst go along .
nice one praaji :D .
@ rohit :: nhin dost !! I m not in delhi . I was jst sayin tht i wud love to meet u . And if i m in delhi sometime .. we will meet . no probs wid tht. and if u can come over here .. ur most welcome ;) .
Yaaaar... itni lambi post! awesome hai.
proper comments tomorrow..padh to loon!
comments sure r increasing.....n we r knowing each other better...
and it was not bad to write it..it was d best thing...we came to knw many things...and yes somethings do require explanations..even between frnds..
par tu rahega to wahi....lovely, funny and romantic s****u
@ anchal : sure .take ur time.
@ dhruv : abr phir se ... i told u earlier as well .. funny nhin :D .. humorous is the word ;)
jokers r funny .. bt me is humorous.
lovely ?? really ? :p
Hi Anpadh!
// Its a mix of lots of colors. Red, blue, green, yelllow, orange .. almost all .
that means its white light.
Lolz!
Very true. Friendship is based on trust and nearly all friendships are imperfect, because if its not, then its love. :)
(love is not always romantic love)
u in gwalior right?? dekhenge!! travelling huge problem--hardly get holidays from college.. hehee
@ sneha :: hehe .. lotsa colors .. but not all .. so its not white .. ucan say tendin to white or WHITISH :D .
To be precise its pure with a lil bit of malign mix.
well the last line .. not really sure abt it .. thoda batti dalengi aap :)
u mean a perfect friendship is love .. but aint it friendship still .. u can say its empowered by love . still thodi batti dalo to jyada acha hoga ..
lolz u shud have writeen " Hi THIS IS anpadh " .. hehehe .. i m not apadh .. though i lack a lot of knowledge .
@ rohit : yups in gwalior. haan ji travellin is hectic tht too in a season like this .. lets see .. luckily to kabhi na kabhi mil hi jayenge .. abhi to internet se hi kam chala lete hain :D
My god thats one looong post!
Good analysis of friendship, and the various aspects surrounding it...
I personally feel that no matter how big ur circle of friends is, there are only a limited number of people u can truly count on, and an even lesser number, whom you can actually entrust ur deepest, darkest secrets with. But of course that's only my point of view!
Good post tho! Have fun! :)
@ megha :: hmm thnkx. And wht u said is very true .
hey friendship needs no promises,great words and poetry...it just needs 2 fools like u and me!!
keep it simple!
@ xtremely insane :: [em]it just needs 2 fools like u and me!!
[/em] .. hahahaha
beautifullly said. and nice way to offer friendship [ or am i readin it wrng ;) ] .
and if friendship needs any promises or not .. m not really aure abt it now . i m still learnin :D .
thnkx . and take care .
hmmmm... whats with the ahem ahem...need cough drops?? :)
@xtremely insane :: no it wasnt ahem !! i was tryin to ilate ur cmnt . :D .
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