hi everyone,
Sry, I have been a little wayward these dayss .. because of no reasons at all but a lot of strings attached. I have been changing over time nd may not for the good. Done a lot of things .. especially not being myself nd being what I really never wanted to be. Getting in to things which I never confirmed of. But newyz .. its like whats done is done .. nd let it be the way it is.
Since few days I have been browsing MYSPACE (hhtp://www.myspace.com ) .. nd yesterday I came across the profile of a girl who's like very sad nd all .. nd in the awe of pain she cuts herself. And there are a hell lot of people who do that. And then I found this song CUT by PLUMB.
Would you ever wonder bringing a knife next to your nerves .. nd the idea of leaving scars on your own body .. nd for wat .. just to bleed urself to some more pain. There's so much pain in this world .. so much .. and little love nd yet we run after it, just to find it. How Ironic !!
But I guess at one or the other point in life we (atleast I) feel like leaving this sinful place, but then at times this place seems so beautiful that you wish the moments could stop. Is it possible that we could live a perfect life .. a life of no guilt or shame. The questions .. Why am I doing this? Why did I do that? Am I this guy that I am pretending to be? Am this bad? Is this me? Is this the way I used to be? Shoud I quit? .. really haunt me at times .. but then you have to deal with your own deeds.
Well I donno why did I came here to cribb .. writing pointlessly .. not frustrated but ya a lot of thoughts .. and its like I wish there's was a way I could undo the done and start off afresh. Only if it was possible.
Well there are certain good things happening as well .. my life's not hell (though it might sound like), but presently I have been quite happy with the way things have turned out. But whatever hapiness there is .. life sucks big time .. lolz.
Well time to end the pointless self accussing words .. I will never be the same again ;)
Anuj .
CUT ~ Plumb
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
PS ::
rOck oN \o/
