aaaaaaa !!!! is this me ??

After years of hibernation
I finally open my eyes again
The thoughts start running
On some infinite lane

Have things changed ?
As I ponder with a yawn
I know the world hasnt changed much
I sit at the same place where I slept

Physical movement was impossible
But have I moved on .. literally .. intellectually ?
Have I been to some other world in between ??
Indeed .. I procrastinated again !!

I didnt do what was to be done
I didnt undo what had been done !!

Everyone around became perfect
But did I even tried to learn ??
People may have called me a serpent
But did I even hissed ??

There have been moments of ecstacy
But wasnt I lonely ??
There were lots of friends
But werent there enemies ??

Have things changed ?
Or this change U feel , is it an illusion ??


PS :: this peice sounds quite incomplete to me .. but at times certain things look gud if they r left .... incomplete. And may be by doing so .. i got something to ponder upon .

735 mins. of entertainment

Its been great. Awesome, happening, fun ... and what not. For me last 2 dayz were gr8. No I didnt went on some trip to honolulu .. neither i surfed on any tsunami wave .. I jst watched JOEY . 12hrs & 15 mins of complete entertainment.

Sometimes its worth wasting a lot of time. And the fun is that u tell yourself that ur going to waste it. But i guess it aint a waste. I jst gave myself the best medicine possible .. a 12 hr long dope .. which has already left its mark.

735 mins of entertainment, freedom, pain in my right ribs .. and shiny eyes.

JOEY ::



Plot summary : After his friends all go their separate ways, Joey Tribianni leaves New York for Hollywood to pursue his acting career full time. His slutty sister Gina buys him a nice apartment, and he finds a new roommate in his 20-year old nephew Michael (Gina had him when she was 16), who is literally a rocket scientist. Michael's book smarts and Joey's people smarts allow them to help each other out whenever they can, and make them nice companions.

Characters ::

Joey Tribbiani ::

Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani .I really loved this character. Evn whn he was in friends. The one u will call a cute dumb. A child in a man. But here his role was much much mature .. though the point of laugh was SEX only .. but this series has almost everything .. sensitivity, emotion, humour, sex jokes, dumbness, romance, friendship, brotherhood, love, seriousness, maturiy .. & ofcourse lots of laughter . Great acting by this dude. He seems to be a natural actor.

Alex Garrett ::

Andrea Anders as Alex Garrett . I m in love with this girl. She was amazing. I mean in all terms. Great .. awesome acting ... unending cuteness .. & what not. Now thts wht u call " MY KINDA GIRL ". Seriously , i mean if any of u cudnt figure out frm the last post .. and if ur at all interested t knw abt my kinda gal .. she is it. Smart, beautiful, composed ( not exactly though ), sexy, a little dumb ( jst a pinch ), very sensitive, lovely, innocent, cute , adorable, talented .. jst cant stop. So she's the best character to me.

Gina Tribbiani ::

Drea de Matteo as Gina Tribbiani . She is HOT . Its a character of a mother .. who jst got pregnant too early .. & has a son jst years younger than her. She's a true bitch ( cant help it she's projected that way only ) .. but above all this she's a great sister, mother. And she did full justification to her role.



Michael Tribbiani ::

Paulo Costanzo as Michael Tribbiani . He's a cute boy round the corner .. whos jst trying to move away from her mom .. jst to make his own identity. So he stays with JOEY his uncle. He's a smart guy .. a nerd .. & obviously a geek !! And the best part is .. he's a virgin till the 9 th episode of SEASON 2 . And which is why hes always made fun of.


Its been SEASON 1 - 24 episodes
SEASON 2 - 11 episodes ...

and m waiting for more .. the series is in an interesting phase. Alex likes JOEY a lot .. but as of all dramatic sequences havent been able to convey .. cause JOEY thinks her to be a buddy .. jst a great buddy .. but she loves him a lot .. would they meet ?? Would JOEY see it in her eyes ?? Would JOEY keep on sleeping with different women evry other night ?? Would Alex be happy being jst a buddy ?( I hope to see the gal smile though ) . I wish i were a producer !!

PS :: Apart frm 12 hrs .. u can also count the time it took me to search all the stuff & thn post it here. Do watch it ..

hone wala pyaar

Firstly, sorry for not updating since long .. but I had nothing to write in particular. Things that happen in my life daily are too obvious to be put down here.
But finally & may be fortunately i got something to ponder upon.

I have been tagged again !! And not by one but by two of them. And thank god they both tagged me wid the same tag. So here's pradyot's & Extremely Insane's tag.

I am supposed to come up with 8 different points of my perfect lover. And its gonna be difficult .. nevr thought about it in particular. So its hard on me. And so wht i write here might not be perfectly what i desire .. cause these things cannot really be described .. u jst feel when things r right. As they say " Love nevr knock's a door .. it just enters .. uninvited " [ comeon u might not have heard of it .. but someone must have said it na ] .

Gender : female [ tht's a stupid thing though to mention .. aint it obvious .. wud i trouble my mind even a sec. to think what kinda guy i want to be with .. was this some kind of test to knw if ur straight or not .. but that was a rule .. so i m bound to write it .. newayz no grudges .. some times r better mentioned thn not ]

1. Innocent : she has to be. Innocence is the key to me .. and having said that by innocence i do not mean that she is an easily made fool . Innocence as in .. a childs innocence . CUTE .. bubbly ..

2. Intelligent : Its not that i want a 9 pointer gal .. actually 9 pointers arent intelligent .. they r nice at mugging though .. but she has to be intelligent in terms of reading my thoughts .. as i m least expressive .. am i not expecting too much ..

3. Music : She ought to love music .. preferably my types of music ( not very strongly though ).

4. Family : I m a family person. To be very practical .. if she cannot respect my parents .. sry i m not in . She should be a family person. hehe tabhi to age achi family banegi na :D

5. party sharty : I m a dancing & party freak .. though m rarely invited .. couldnt have that big a social circle .. and due to an obvious reason .. but if somehow fortunately we get to go to some party .. she has to be more excited than me . In short she shouldnt be boring.

6. Nature : It comes on no. 6 but matters a hell lot. She should be an individual whom i respect. And as they say RESPECT COMES NATURALLY .. so she ought to deserve it. She should be kind, lovely, caring, sweet, friendly. A kinda girl that even lights up the darkness .. ane se uske aye bahar types .. one who fills the atmosphere with hapiness & smile ( not talkin abt a joker yaar ) .

7. Looks : beautiful eyes .. umm the ones that speak a lot ( evryones eyes speak a lot .. but hers should be as talkative as girls themselves r ). no color preferences. nice & sweet smile ..the GOOGLY WOOGLY WOOKHS types .. preferably dimples . medium hairs . and obviously decent looks over all .. who wants aishwarya yaar ( yuuuuk !! cheee kiska naam le liya ... ) .

8. attitude : Jst a pinch of pepper & it makes food look gud. so attitude has to be there .. but jst a little .. jst a little. shud be Humorous .. & witty .

Finally done with it .. but i m not satisfied .. I m pretty sure that i have added some wrng things & missed out on lots. As i said these things cannot be written .. u will feel it when u get the right person .

ANd now as per rule gotta tag 8 ppl .. gaawd thts a huge no.

1. Rohit
2. Milo
3. Sneha
4. Chappat
5. Manjari
6. Luke
7. Rennie
8. Bubbles


The rules of the game:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

the samurai

Most things start with a confusion ..

U walk in a city unknown .. with confusion in d mind .. theres fear of gettin lost .. but in such efforts u get to knw evn the lonliest of streets . and it is then tht u can say with great pride " I have been here .. " .

That is how life is. Its a city .. where everyone has been. Yet how many of them can say .. I KNOW THIS CITY .. I KNOW EACH & EVRY STONE OF ITS FOUNDATION .. I HAVE SEEN IT GROWING OLD & MATURE .... I HAVE BEEN A PART OF IT .. DO I KNOW IT ?? [ m not sure is d answer ] .

Thats how life is .. a city unknown. Its not that we dont have explorers capable enough to discover such a capricious place .. we do have such people .. but the city has its angels & deamons who protect it from being discovered. One might have an illusion that he knows the city well .. that between destinations within it, he can find n ways to reach from one destination to the other. He might succeed once, twice or may be even thrice .... but one day he will be lost in this maze. Wondering which way lead to where. And he will end up saying .. this city is haunted .. its been condemned.

Thats how we behave. If we r succesful .. if we get all that we expected & wanted .. if we r (so called) happy .. then one says : ' I LIVED ' .. not knowing tht its all momental .. and that one cannot really live its life to the max. One can only try but one cannot. And on the other hand if we r in pain .. filled with grief .. and arent gettin wht we really expect & demand .. then one says : ' If its life than whts hell ? '

The NATURE around us is assumed to be supportive .. something that helps in our own evolution . But does it really do is. The NATURE is the ruler . Rulers as they always r .. they might support u .. they might inspire u .. they might even help u .. they might nourish u .. but the day they know that ur growing taller than THE RULER .. ur cutt down . The game of power . NO one wants to loose it .. not even the ruler. SO it might seem that nature supports u cause what we really see is the beauty around us .. not those hidden thorns .. which r not actually thorns .. they r AROOWS OF POISON .. aimed right at our a** .. so that the day we try to stand against it .. they are shooted out . Making us all go down .. powerless .. back to the one to be nurtured. We arent suposed to be the nurturer. We r the one to be nurtured. SO its all the nature's ball game. The day it realises that ur too happy than ur supposed to be .. it sets up conditions such that u jst cant exceed the volumes of happiness .. and if u dare .. u r thrown in to the well of darkness .. with lonliness being your only companion.

Its not that one cant be happy .. one can be .. for days .. weeks .. or may be even years .. but he/she cannot be happy his/her whole life. So on an average if ones hapiness quotient is more than the pain quotient .. he/she is said to have lived a HAPPY LIFE .. & vice - versa. And to tell u the truth .. its not in ur hands . It might seem so .. but its not.

But then we r born warriors .. arent we ?? All our life we learn to fight. We learn to face abuses, we learn to face people when all the worlds against us , we learn to protect our values & rituals , we learn to lend a hand to the one in pain , we learn not to give pain , we learn to fight darkness [ for that one might even risk to enter in to it ] . So all our life we learn to fight. The armour may change , the strategies may differ , it might be against different enemies but the BATTLE FIELD remains the same. The battles field is LIFE .

And thts what i mean by saying : theres fear of gettin lost .. but in such efforts u get to knw evn the lonliest of streets.

We might not win the battle ever , no body might win it .. it might continue for centuries & for generations .. but that battle .. that defeat teaches us a lot. Not to get a better armour next time .. rather it teaches us .. how to be at peace even when the battle is on. And i guess that is what made individuals like GAUTAM BUDDHA, VIVEKANANAD & lots more, great. They were warriors who learned how to be at peace even fighting a war. And the struggle continues.

And the more we try .. the more we learn.

SO dont be afraid .. jst try to fight .. jst try to be at peace while fighting .. let ur breath out .. calm down .. take you time .. concentrate & FOCUS ..... there comes a sword .. block the attack .. gud .. concentrate & FOCUS ...

And if u survive .. u will say : " I have been here .. to this place .. to this city "

PS :: Its jst a thought .. only a thought. :D

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

This one is with reference to the last post !! Well thers this friend of mine whos not into blogging world but is quite benevolent to read my posts & appreciate them when he really likes them. So he liked this about the last post ::

So in all its been a great year . A year where i have realised tht love aint about holding .. its abt lettin go & freedom , friendship aint about being close .. its about being there always .. lending a shoulder be it real or virtual .. showering a smile be it real or an E - Smile .... understandin the other & lettin him understand u ..

Since i dont have anything specific to right about so lemme elaborate a bit.

Wont talk abt love cause people think that i m obsessed with it, which i m not. And moreover even i dont feel like writing about it now .. so why to blame others.

Friendship ----

If i would have been as illitrate as sneha I would have called friendship a rainbow. Yups a rainbow. Its a mix of lots of colors. Red, blue, green, yelllow, orange .. almost all .

Disclaimer :: This ones gonna be hard .. quite hard on me .. i have decided to criticise now .

So friendship is a mix of lotsa colors. Almost every individual knows that friendship means " always being there " but has anyone ever tried to figure out what do we really mean by being there. Are the moments of being there only those moments when one feels BLUE or when ones partying . To me its just one part of it. I mean i have seen so many people yelling out all inside them even in front of strangers [ CHATTING ].. may be cause they know that they wont have to look in to their eyes while talking or may be they have this option of escaping that person in case it doesnt work ,jst bcause for him/her he/she doesnt exist phsically . I have done tht lotsa times [ may be not now .. times change ].

TO me being their is when one really want someone .. when one really wants someone whom they call " F.R.I.E.N.D ". The times when u want someone to trust u & when u can trust him/her. Trust is the crux here. Trust is the crux of friendship . When u can trust someone such that if u yell out things his eyes wont lie , he wont consider it as JST ANOTHER STORY AROUND , he wont make fun of u if its a serious one, he wont yell it out to others as these things r difficult to digest [ The problem of indigestion is not only with girls .. its with boys as well .. seriously ] . Its a risky initiative that one takes .. to trust someone .. the risk is .. Is it too early to trust .. or Is it even worth it .

See :: Friendship is like a play . A play of two characters [ considering two individuals only ]. And a play is successful only if each character plays his/her role to the best of his/her potential . Similarly , friendship is successful only if both individuals trust one another to the best of their ability of trusting.

Now one might say tht one has to jst play his/her part & leave rest to the other. But does it really work in the world of today . If u wish to convert some acquintance to a friendship based on trust .. and u have done evrything u cud possibly do & the other person is unaffected & doesnt respond .. how long will u stay ?? Wud u wait for eternity ?? Do we even have so much time !!

So according to me friendship is a relation which sways on the bridge called trust .. with river of pain running down .. a violent flow. And it swings well & stays there forever if the bridge is well constructed & decently maintained. Strong Winds of misinterpretations might try to turn it upside down .. but as i said if it the bridge is strong .. it doesnt require any other technology to maintain balance. IT will survive on its own. The thing is how strong this bridge cud be.


Disparaging ::

I have this group of 12 friendz (includin me ). great buddies. Share lots of stuff specially FOOD :D . It all started frm d begining .. people went out & joined .. and it was almost final till 2 nd sem . [ Being diplomatic i m supposed to say .. all the batch's my friend .. which is true as well .. but since i have been along with these 11 for max .. so i can dare to comnt only on them ].

" WE R ALWAYS THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER " .. r we ?? sure we r .. but one things lacking .. and its tht god damn trust .. [ HE here means THEY .. all other 11]

lemme elaborate .. see even trust is of 2 types [ may be more ] ..
1. U trust tht he/she wont stab on ur back. He/she wud be the one who will get u an extra sheet of assignment when u have bunked .. and hes ur proxy man. U trust tht he wont leave his examination seat jst to sit next to a better person. U trust tht he would be the one shouting at his peak when ur out there .. on the field .. in a baddy match . But thts quite materialistic & very much expected. The bare minimum .

2. Heres the important one. The one i mentioned in the play exmpl. I trust u .. u trust me. I yell out things .. u arent supposed to be secretive. I tell u some stupid stuff .. u arent supposed to pull my leg .. tht too jst because i pulled ur leg someday .. sometime .... friendship aint about taking a revenge.

[ I apologise for being a ruthless legpuller though .. but nevr intended to hurt neone .. but who knws wht hurts him & wht doesnt .. so i m sry ]

SO its the second one tht lacks.

Example ::

U guys remeber tht nite .. when the power went off . We were in dj's room .. all of us. Pulling one anothers leg .. having a hell lota time . Enjoying every bit of our friendship .. strengthening the bond . Donno but frm somewhere came this idea of telling stories about our past [ BACHPAN SE JAWANI TAK ] . And as a normal guy 2 guy talk is .. it was all about crushes & loves of ur life. As always in lime lite .. i was the choosen one .. the first one .. [ I M QUITE OPEN IN UTTERING THIGS OUT ] . I trusted u all .. each & evryone of u .. [ both kinds of trust ] .. i yelled it all . Told all tht was in here .. things tht even best of my friends outside college might not know . Then it was your turn . NO body spoke. I pin pointed .. took the names .. but none was ready . None spoke . U all maintained ur secrecy. If there was nothing [ which is imposssible ] no one didnt even said ' theres nothin worht telling ' .... rather it was ' ur a fool if u yelled it all .. u shud knw these games' . None has ever been ready. U might say u were shy .. lol .. so any of u have any idea how shy a guy i have been in my school life . It doesnt sound a big deal right ? .. jst another joke .. but only the GOAT knows the pain when its head goes off.
[ expml ends ]

And may be the trust didnt died that day . I m good at forgettin things .. but i do put them at the back of my head .. sweet or bitter memories.

And since then things havent been better. We all have been pals & for sure will be buddies all our lifes. Will recite stories of our friendship to our children & wives. Being a part of each others life .. but still somethings will lack . Well may be bcause they say " NO RELATION IS PERFECT " . or may be i m jst thinking too much .

And the trust factor is dying day by day .. we hug each other .. praise each other .. encourage & motivate each other .. support .. cuddle & cry together. But do we trust one another [ the 2 nd type ] ?? Do we ?? Do I ?? Do U ??

And may be this has lead to some kind of - limiting our trust to 1 or 2 . OR may be if i m not wrong it is me who have both kind of trust on 1 or 2 & i guess many dont even have tht on 1 or 2 . Most of u prefer to be secretive. But then frienship is also not a relation one is to be forced in to. Its ur life .. ur wish !!

Question ::

Is it [TRUST] really required ???? A billion dollar question . The answer is NO . WE have been great friends & will continue to be .. whtever happens under the sun . Evryday .. evrynite . But all we will miss is being called " THE BEST OF FIRNEDS EVER " .. do we care ?? Truly speaking .. I DO !!

SO buddies i know its gonna be hard but still lets infuse some more confidence in one another. Lets enter the sea of trust .. i know its exposed to lotsa storms .. but cant we face them together ??

HEY ..
But whtever happens we will sure be f.r.i.e.n.d.s

PS :: I aint no saint .. and i m not sayin that i m the best & most kind among us all. Rather i m d most ruthless leg pulller ever :D .. the most untrustworthy .. the least caring .. but i m a part of us . And tht does matter. I know i m up for some a** busting stuff . But u cant really figure out how hard the decision of writin this has been . But sometimes u need to dare .. for ur own sake . SO if i jst offended any of u .. MAAAF KAR DE BHAI ;) .. abe saale 2 ghante lag gaye likhte likhte