confused guy ..

sometimes you wish to talk, you just wish someone to listen .. nt say a single word .. jst listen .. u have so much to say .. all thats inside you, nd at some rare day it wishes to come out ..

sometimes you just wish to listen, you dont want to talk, silence is ur peace .. rather you wish someone to speak out .. rather u wish someone to be a chatterbox , you knw ur there to take it all .... nd ur happy & content .. cause in ur silence u can feel others excitement .... in ur peace u can witness the hussle in others life ..

sometimes you wish to stare .. just stare .. say you spot a gal who seems to be ur kinda gal ( seems to be bcause u havent yet talked to her .. bt u knw na theres alwyz a voice which yells out .. shes it .. or may be she cud be it .. she cud be d one whos been playing hide & seek since long .. things might change whn u talk :D ) .... so u jst wish if time cud stop & u could catch that moment & cherish it for sometime .

sometimes you wish to be stared at .. you desperately wish to be d centre of attraction .. so that ppl can spot u .. i mean fuck ppl .. d one u specially want to can give u some attention .... i mean its no desperation .. u jst want it ..

sometimes in moments of solace u wish if somebody was there who could read whats written inside me & recite it out .. its so hard to understand oneself .. nd harder are to control ur self-centred acts ...

.. u wish somebody could see the tears that u never really shed .. those that were there sometime .. at the corner of ur eye .. nd thn it cud hold ur hand .. i mean u never asked for that .. bt u wanted it desperately & probably she realised that .. nd thn she wont say a word .. not a single word .. she wud jst stare deep in to ur eyes as if she cud negotiate wid those tears & turn them bck .. to be spilled later at an appropriate moment ..

sometimes i wish if i was as confident as a stone .. .. nothing cud stir me .. knowing the fact that things passing me by are eroding me slowly & steadily .. nd for sure i will fall down one day .. bt still i will be happy cause spmetime in my life i turned the flow .. it pushed me yet cudnt stir me .. cold & confident .

sometimes i wish if I can peacefully imagine beyond my own imagination .. doing whtevr I have wished to .. to be at peace .. floating with the flow .. swinging with the ghust ..

atleast a moment of stability in life .. a timeframe where in i can feel that things r going in the rite direction ..

well .. M a confused guy !!

PS :: well it didnt came out of d blue .. was jst browsin through d movie AMERICAN BEAUTY .. nd jst loved some sequences .. so .. thts why ..

the extremes .....

been there .. done that ..

m sure all of u mst have heard this zillions of times .. nd if u havent .. u still have lotsa life left .. so dont worry.

now by being there & doing that .. wht does one intend to signify .. probably that some where in the sands of time he reached the extreme. ummm .. being at the extreme of something is like a rage .. its a sudden touch .. rather a touch & go . U try to be there for long .. u might vanish .. cause an extreme is an extreme .

but i insist there does not exist a single extreme .. rather there r two extremes. If u ever heard of a number line which m sure most of u did .. we hve +(infinity) & we hav -(infinity) .. the two extremes.

If today i claim calling myself an extreme biker .. than i shudnt only be talking abt reaching 110 kms/hr.. facing the thrust & the stir .. the motion & the shortening of distances ..... its not only that .. i must talk abt touching the ZERO .. trying to move at minimal speed .. yet not touch the ground .. see the lengthning of distances .. i need to feel the need of speed & the zeal of touching the zero .. nd may be than i might be able to strike perfect balance .. in whtver situation d road puts me in.

I guess its the same with love .. i mean one cannot say that hes been in love jst because he felt to be on cloud # 9 sometime .. bt if he got hurt badly falling frm it sometime & he still bears the scars .. may be thn he was/is in love ..

though life is not abt striking a balance .... rather we can hardly achieve one .. but its all abt being sure whether ur moving at a decent pace & that at some point in ur life u touched the extremes .... it takes a lot of toll though .. bt things dont come for free these dayzz . do they ??

newyz .. normalcy is out of question these dayz .. normal is out of fashion i guess .. people prefer 3/4 ths .. dont they ?? so u cannot be ur full self .. its a mixture of pretence, falsification & faking thy self .. damn .... i have seen almost evryone writing abt bearing a mask & all that stuff .. yet no one is able to remove it ..

its a confusing world .. isnt it ..

4 dayz ago someone used to love u .. aftr 2 dayz he cried that 'cannot live without him' .. nd today he doesnt evn care whether u r dead or alive .. thts d way seasons come & go .. ummm may be love is seasonal .. nd if u question why ?? Donno is an appropriate0 answer .

nd u wonder why do u give it a shit if its like that .. nd whn in d end ur lost why to evn walk that road .. but that sometimes u have to compromise with ur own standards ... thats how life is .. compromises, guilts, desires, mistakes, repetition of mistakes, temptations .. u cannot afford to stop & smile .. u jst have to walk else people will run u down .... its a ruthless world ..

SHOW NO MERCY .. CAUSE YOU WONT GET ANY !!
BUT WILL SHOW SOME COURTSEY .. CAUSE CHIVALRY IS MY MIDDLE NAME :)

fuck ...

ahan !! dont knock on that door
there's this brat, i wont respond
I have played enough, a lot drenched
I m not tired, yet i need some rest

every endeavour went down the drain
I wonder if there exist a word 'gain'
I aint dissapointed, yet got nothin to inspire
so probably i need to stop, else might perspire

so lemme settle down, lemme take a breath
will be back soon, full throttle ..


I aint leaving the blog world .. not evn a break .. just a lil tired of my stupid acts of ruining my own life .. getting myself involved into things that I dont deserve or may be i cant handle. Just wanna take my time & settle down .. gather all that i have .. some new thoughts .. new plans & may be start over again .... it wont be easy .. bit ROME wasnt built in a day .. not even in a week ..

so guys lemme relax a lil bfr i get a heat stroke :O .

I wonder if i ever did a single thing right .... fuck .. did I ??
( aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn ... wondering .... aaaaaaannnnnn )


Ps :: just learning to be cool whn things dont go my way without kicking someones butt :D .

just like tht ..

AAH !! just when someone thought the world was a nice place to dwell in .. he was robbed that very night. Now what can he do ?? he has nowhere to go .. no one to shout at .. no one to complain about .. nd in case if hes superstitious he will blame that very thought of considering the world a better place . but where else can he land up .... martians r considered to be more dangerous .. they dont rob .. they just kill u .. slowly ...

so with no where to go he will have to stay here only .. try building his world again .. probably work hard again though not with the same passion but just for the sake of being busy .. cause if martians wont kill you than boredom can surely lead you to death .... so he will have to continue .. living life at a snails pace .. than again someday when the sun is brighter .. the light is soothing , the day he feels happiness was his virtue nd the cloud no 9 existed only for his 3 day holiday package .. the thought will reappear again .. nd u call it coincidence, bad luck or whtevr he might be robbed again .

gosh !! life is such a bitch ( dog in my case ) ... it pisses off nething that seems standing .. straight & erect . its a vicious circle ..

but whatever way one may cribb .. world surely is a better place to learn ( i never said nething abt living :D ) .

thank god we have friends !!

PS :: if ne of u is robbed tomorrow , u can surely put up at my small place .... just climb that house of trust whn troubling waters tend to drown you ..