stumbled, hurt, jinxed ... tired ..

once upon a time ....

a boy wandered all around
contemplating thoughts profound
His feet found no proper ground
running far from a melancholy sound

The tear fell in the hands of destiny
Not knowing when it would smile ....

than one fine day ....

Came a hand the tear had longed for
he knew the hand was there to touch the core
the feeling was untouched, it was all pure
He felt an awe , he hadnt dreamt for more

The hand came closer, ready to entice
The tear felt it all, he had to realise
It was the end
Either he had to run all the way down the cheek
Or It was to be wiped off , with no place to seek

Its no more than a fake dream
All turned out to be rotten cream
The tear knew it had nowhere to flee
Its none else, The tear is ME !!


PS :: THE MESSAGE IN D PICTURE READS ::::
Now the dwelling of god is with men, and he will live with them.They will be his people, and god himself will be with them and be their god. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away .

plzz dont be scared .

Ahhh !! I have been having a great time since last few months. Jst because I have been roaming around a lot. No studies .. total fun. Sometimes on humourous dinners ( i mean lotsa laughter & eating ) wid friends .. and thn visiting places nearby. From temples in Mathura to TAj in agra. From waterfall in Sultangarh to NAtional Park in shivpuri . But than again after 10 hrs of fun, laughter & involvement .. u gotta get back to urselves .. to ur own self .. which ultimately sucks .. cause it asks u .. it says u hav had enough fun .. u dont deserve so gud so noe is the time to enter the cave of darkness . I guess life is a sine curve ( for those who hate sine .. it cud be cos as well ) .

Well a good thing about ORKUT is , now a lot of my school mates whom i wasnt in contact wid r joining the party. Jst few days back found one of my friends. SHe left the school in class 8 th , though i used to see her during my JEE preps but thn as i hav always been .. I hardly talked to her. ANd damn to my utter surprise .. this is wht she wrote ..

actually till class 8th u were very reservd nd truly speaking i was afraid of u. bt know i think u r changed.

for a moment it felt d same as the MONSTER's INC. monster wud hav felt .. scared tht lil cute kid wid no intensions for d same. :(
hahahaha ...... i mean damn dude. well no hard feelings though. SHes not to be blamed. Its all abt me , d way I have been :D .ITs a bit embarassing though :p .

Hey I am scary
THank god I never teased the mirror
THings around me are so gloomy
Phew, never tried to figure it out .

standing by the roadside
With familiar faces passing me by
I dont talk, my downside
Figure out, I am quite SHY

uff uff yesterday, hai hai today

yesterday they were ram,shyam & ghanshyam .. today .. today they are Tom, Dick & Harry !!

CHange is such an inevitable thing. It is bound to happen, no resistance works. Rather even the resistance is some sort of change in itself. I am not what i used to be, i sure wont be what I am. And by change I do mean small little changes obviously .. tht occur to us almost daily.

Yesterday they used to say 'ramram bhaiya' .. today ... today they yell out 'hey dude .. sup ?'

Yelling out sometimes can really help you. Theres something inside thats poisonous, thats killing you slowly & steadily, something you have always avoided to let out. Its chained you since long. Its always at the back of your mind, banging there comntinously, 'bang .. bang .. bang .. lemme out of here .... ' . So chose a day, yell out you good for nothing pretending to be geek, a certified asshole .
( courtsey : anuj panwar :D ) .

Yesterday they used to push ( dhakka lagana ) a ' thukkar feat ' .. today .. today they they even pee in a BMW .. ( no they didnt win a lottery man )

Its only me, no one else. I shout, I yell out at others, blame others, both individuals & objects .. but is it really there fault . I m sure its not. It is me who is to be blamed . It is definitely me who lacked & u lacks & who wont ever be even a jst another normal guy. He wished to change, i mean as i said already tht change is continous & it happens on a regular basis , but it has its won sets of rules .. u cannot accelerate it beyong a level. Change is always supported by balance & control. So, m sry. I cannot help it. I will still have to yell out at u .. u good for nothing pretending to be shepherd, an appreciated jerk
( courtsey : yours truly again :p ) .

yesterday he used to look at SITA maiyas feet only ( some1 like laxman dude ).. today .. today they go to some pub i guess ( so wht .. bro might be in office .. his boss pissing him off .. but bhabhs need some quality time na .. its called outsourcing my friend :) )

Its quite general. We are dogs ( ladies u decide urselves .. no cmnts ) .. arent we ? I mean dont take it literally dude .. dont go on the breed part .. try to get the concept . SO we r all dogs .. some day we are underdogs and some day we are superdogs ( superman had a superdog .. i mean if u guys donno ). The day m a superdog .. I spare no one. I just let anyone dare ask me .. and he will see me as a player at blast .. in full form .. his worst nightmare . I mine I can advice him on anything or everything .. with d very small repository of my knowledge .. I m sure I can still fool him .. cause every dog has his day .. and today's day is for both of us .. I m a superdog & he is an underdog. I am a ardent speaker and he is a verocious listener . And the day I m an underdog .. U can bug me .

yesterday they used to ....... today ..... today they ......

seriously its all like that .. wht was yesterday aint today & whts today wasnt yesterday ( i guess its d same thing :p ) . so uff uff yesterday ... and hai hai ( rather maro maro ) today ...

have a nice day :)

turning times ( ooops i mean tides ) ..

Just when you think the time is right !!

you write the letter, wait for the evening with desperation, excitement & confusion within. you arent prepared, but it has to happen one or the other day . you were bound to choose one day cause you didnt have any other option, you didnt had the control you just had the choice of date. And you chose this day. NO mathematics involved though.

So you chose this day. the evening is aprroaching, the setting sun enticing you . And you have that DO or DIE feeling ( actually you have to induce that feeling within, theres no other source of confidence .. fake confidence i must say ) . But than you see the clouds covering up the sun, creating an illusion. The weather seems fine. Rather its a perfect weather .

But the time you come out with the letter, and start a confused journey .. it starts pouring. you run, you hide .. you cover the letter with your body, you try to save it from getting drentched and loosing its fragrance. you wish the words are swept away by the raindrops, you wish them to flow to the destination where you wished them to be . yet, you save them from being washed away. But all in vain .

how long would you wait, the rains are never gonna stop. once ur caught in the rain, theres no way out. you dont have an option than giving up.

now its no more a letter, its just another peice of paper, u cannot help it. Its nothing new, u get used to this helplessness, its all about time.

its just another peice of paper, it deserves what all other peices of paper deserve in the rain. They are made in to a boat , some with perfect balance & some that wont travel all the way down the hill . But they have to face the water, the turbulence .

something that was a letter in the morning, is no more than a boat fighting against the tides, trying to move with the flow, trying to fight its luck , trying to manage down the hill. its no more than a struggle .

you never know ......
when a dream turns in to a struggle .. an uncontrolled struggle.

PS :: that letter aint a love letter. its something philosophical that i have tried (pathetically ) to write. I knw its diff to understand wht some1's trying to communicate .. or whts on others mind .. but cant help it . sometimes you write for yourselves. the title might be a hint .

(you + me) / us

Lost in the memoirs of thy life
Turning pages in a slow motion
Deciphering the hidden codes
Trying to mine out the loops & the holes !!

Has it been an even function
Or am I overlooking its oddness
I wanted to converge
Will I reach the global minimum ??

you enjoyed being a complex ( you + i(me) )
I tried to be real ( 1.9999999999999999999999999999999999 )
No wonders we couldnt fit in
Shouldnt we create a better hilbert space ??

The apple might have fallen
But we never considered the pulling force
Their was no action
Hence was no reaction .... only procrastination !!

I guess we r waiting for artificial intelligence
Agents of love
our hearts will be read & learned
And may be that could prevent any other procrastination ....

AMEN .

Ps :: I have surely misplaced some concepts .. I apologise .