Enamoured

One more poem for my SHE. I know she is not reading it, i know she dont know my feelings, and i know i may never even see her again. but she will always be there. Right besides me (though not physically), there in my thoughts, there in my dreams, there in my aspirations & there in my deeds..........


I feel like writing poems
I feel like thinking (abt her)
I feel like making a wish (for her)
I fell like getting the stars that r twinkling
Am i feeling Enamoured ??

I dream of me being with her
I dream of making her laugh (rather smile)
I dream of sitting next to her
I dream of being her better half
Am i dreaming to be Enamored ??

I wish to smell her feelings
I wish to hold her in arms
I wish to give her everything
i wish her not to be far
Am i wishing to be Enamoured ??

I crave for her love
I crave to hold her hand
I crave to walk by the sea side (with her)
I crave to sit with her on sand
Am i craving to be Enamoured ??

She means the world to me
Her love means a life
Her feelings make my soul
She is the one I like

Making her mine is all i desire
All i need is to lite up my fire
But whatever destiny does with us
I will always have my feelings for her

So, yes I am Enamoured
Enamoured with HER.

Teachers VS soldiers

Well today i have two posts to write on. But i think i should sum it up in a single post only. Well the first one is :

Teachers VS soldiers :

Yesterday as i reached my Lg's home, which eventually now i have started considering as my own :p , i heard some very load voice coming from up above. From the terrace. It sounded as if somebody was giving some lecture. OR may be i feared that some politician has creeped in somehow !! So my very inquisitive self made me more inquisitive & dragged me upstairs. AHHH !! There was no politician around, neither was any lecture going on. ALL was safe. Then who the hell was shouting ?? Well it was a so called discussion goin on between my cousin brother & a human being who came here from my chachi's GAON(village).

Well !! Discusion that to with my cousin brother. How stupid !! No, its not that he is a geek & he has nothing to say, but its like he has lots to say other than the topic. Quite LITERALLY a WEIRDO. First he will ask u to have a discussion on some very weird topic (My God !! once in some marriage he asked me WHY DO GIRLS HAVE SOFTER HANDS THEN US ???? How the hell am i supposed to know that dude !!!! & the story of such weird questions is endless.............& if he starts on SEX then even GOD cannot save me.....).

And the topic they were discussing on was weirder. NO Exceptions !!!! ( My cousin was there). Are teachers more important or soldiers. Rather to be more weird (i mean precise) it was :

Without what Can this country run : teachers or soldiers ??

And not to my surprise my cousin was : This coutry doesnt need a soldier ?? Asshole simple for u to say standing on this terrace. I should have told him go and read DHRUV's post ARMY.

As the topic so the discussion, not any less weird. One would say we can survive without teachers, because in this country we have people who dont get one in their lifetime. And the other would say we dont need soldiers because..............( some kind of argument was given which even i didnt understood). Sometimes its fun to stand apart & listen to all possible wierd arguments. And my cousin is really at the height of it.

I mean even if u succeed to escape few geeky arguments by being very clever, he would give u examples of such kind which one would never expect. ( i mean what the hell has an example of hospital to do something with LOVE......very obnoxious). Or may be he is above my level of normality. Dont know what he wants to say. All he has got is Wierd arguments, more weird Examples to support them & above all loads of OVER CONFIDENCE to boost him up.

Didnt knew when the discussion ended but i felt like escaping was a better option. And i did. I guess this one is enough no need of the second post. See ya tommorow friends.

PS : The post has not been written as a statement of criticism for my cousin brother (though it sounds so). I love him very much. And he is a DUDE.

Something abt CRUSH

Hey got a new blog. A blog of pictures (only). its called MY CANVAS. It sounds like publicity !!!! And that to for what, pictures .......
the one anybody could easily find on INTERNET. But thats the way it is. When i have created something i have to display it, publicise it, in order to prove its worth. That i guess is the sole purpose of creation (atleast in my case). So, do check it out :P (What the HECk !! i will always be same).

So, dont know what to write. But felt like i should write some stuff before leaving (be it crap). Can't be poetic, not in mood this time ;). So, what to write ??????

uummmmmmmmmm..........
uummmmmmmmmm..........

Ok today i read Sharath sir's (he is my senior and we have a custom of saying SIR, may be we should have a debate whether it should be or not) blog. He also entered in to the blog world. A world where most of the residents r running there thoughts as wild as they could be, looking for words, topics, may be to be ahead as a writer. Now dont say the crap : " I just write down my feelings, without a sense of competition". How pretentious !!

Whatever !! Lets get back to sharath sir. Yes i read his post. All about his crush (i will call it love). Very sad story indeed. So may be i will write something abt CRUSH.

CRUSH :

Well crush ..... uummmmmmmmm..... I have had it infinte no of times (not exaggerating). May be if u make me stand at some place where every 1 min. a beautiful (or u can say average) girl passes by & if u have certain device to measure my crush level (not kidding, there could be one. Man has really advanced yaar) so, i guess u will find it to be at an optimum level.

And i dont regret it. Isnt it natural ?? I mean u got to praise the beauty around u.
But out of those infinte crushes, there have been people (rather girls or even beautiful women) who have had there mark. I still remember them. And out of them there is that SHE as well abt whom i wrote .

And its not that i remember those beauties, just to think them with me in some intimate moments & satisfy my sexual self virtually, but i remember them because i think they are worth it.They were really beautiful. Some were as innocent as a new born baby. And i always wanted to be the preserver of that innocence. But all in vain. Quite normal though.

There is this new girl. Found her on ORKUt (realy cool place, atleast for flurting :P). Really cute. Wish to meet her. But i know its kind of impossible. Because cute girls normally do not hang out with JERKS(like me, not the normal ones). It happens only if u have some other extraordinary skills. And as of me is concerned : I don't know how to BAKAR ( in front of girls). I dont understand how one of my friends talks to her GF all night i.e 10 hrs almost daily. I mean what the hell do they talk : POLITICS Or SEX ....Dont know the PJ's which some duffers usually know, and i dont understand what makes girls laugh. May its in raise of the Stupid Asshole reciting them. Whatever !! these r the kind of boys girls like. What a taste !! May be i need a change .

So, she is really cute, but cant do much abt it. Because girlfriend - boyfriend is all abt being as jerk as possible. May be a competition of two jerks.......I m better at being jerk !! BINGO !!!!

Dont know whether there r people (GIRLS i mean) out there who count ONLY & ONLY on feelings. For whom its all abt being urself in front of each other. Its not like "Ek dusre ki eyes main Dhool jhonkna". Being ur true self. Being true to one another.

Desperately in look of someone like this. All valid candidates r invited. The doors of my hearts r open, to get closed as soon as one valid candidate enters ...... SHUT !!!!

PS : When one has nothing to write & he chooses to write anything random, it turns out to be crap. So plz forgive urs TRULY.

Clubbing ...

Got to know some friends went to club. LUCKY DUDES !! I have always wished to but never went actually. And by telling me all the fun they had, they have made me sick. Sick of desperation. Rather CLUB DESPERATION. Long time i have not moved my feets. Willing to do that. Any one PARTYING ?? U can send me an invitation or post a comment on my blog or u can IM me at my Yahoo Id . It would be so kind of u !!


So Buttered my friend a lot. Actually they went with some GERMANS (RAMDAYALS) working in their NGO & thus they got a free entry. And thats WOW !! So i made him ready to talk to them again & this time do take me as well. How excited & illusioned i m i cannot explain. Yapppeeeeeee wanna go to CLUB. What if i have to tell a lie to my LG's for a NIGHTs hangout.

God plz Let the Germans go to club & me too.

My Princess.......

The Princess Diaries
Posted by Hello

Weekend. AHHH ! nothing to do then taking a good nice sleep & watching the clouds going black & blue after every 5 secs. The climate was quite romantic, but not for the ones (ofcourse Me) who had nothing to do other then yawning & trying to find some engaging stuff, & if not found any of them, better to close your eyes & try to have dreams. How pathetic !!!!

But still got something on sunday. Caught up on star movies & got to watch THE PRINCESS DIARIES. This was my 7 th or 8 th time. Really nice movie.

Its not all about a country & its queen, both striving for the PRINCESS to understand her duties. But its all about a girl. Its all about growing up (means matured thoughts) even at the age of 16. Its all about understanding yourself & ur priorities.

Anne is really superb & very CUTE indeed. I love her for that. These english movies do contain some very strong feeling of LOVE, compassion, responsibility & understanding.

Wish to watch "The War Of The Worlds". A TOMMY flick. But couldnt afford 130 bucks. God these people out there. Why the hell dont they like english movies.

I live in Kanpur. it has a multiplex named RAVE3. Every weekend there used to be an Englsih movie in ENGLISH. But i guess only 25 % people came to watch the stuff. And now either they dont put them anymore or even if they put it its HINDI dubbed. How preposterous !!!!

SHE is what i want to make ME

SHE exists but not with me. She lives but not for me. She smiles but not seeing me. She is someone but not me...........


She is in my words
One who drives my thoughts
One who persuades my feelings
She is what i havent got

She is in my dreams
One who could be my strength
One who has been my weakness
She is what i strive for

She is in my reasons
One who forces me to live
One who never lets me quit
she is what i always wish for

She is in my destiny
One question i have asking for
One answer i have been finding
She is what i would always adore

--------------------------------------------------
SHE is what i want to make my inspiration, my weakness, my strength, my dream, my life. SHE is what i want to make ME(ofcourse, it signifies mine).

PS : SHE is a secret. So plz. dont ask :P

Hapiness, Cruelity & Helplessness

Yesterday evening, wow it was a pleasant one. Pleasant ?? I was about to reach my LG's house, may be 1 more Km & it started raining. Not exactly raining, it was a storm, rather a Hail storm. The wind making its way at a speed of : i don't know, but it was blowing quite fast. To give u a measure, if anyody of u had watched a typical Indian horror movie, the director makes a desperate attempt to get ur soul out of ur body, by scaring the HELL out of u, & to do that a very intense sound of blowing wind is induced. Which eventually signifies that the BHOOT (centre of attraction of the movie) has arrived, & thats why the wind has started blowing at high speeds. If one really understood this, such was the speed of the wind.

It was quite pouring. The streets all filled up, drainages blocked, trees broken (i mean branches) & may be the wind was successful to blew off some individuals as well. So, it was quite a storm. I took shelter in one of the shops beside the road. Everyone seemed to be happy, because this would give them a bit of relief from the heat. Sometimes such events can make u see things beyond normality.

The shop in which i took shelter, had 3-4 workers. All were very happy, expecting a cool climate as a resultant of rain (The Hail Storm). But one of them was more than happy. All the time i was standing there (nearly 45 min) he was laughing. He was enjoying every moment.

Even the fall of a huge branch on somebodies car. The running water, the huge but very icy HAILS (OLLE), the droplets, the Blackish blue sky, the running people, wet birds, all washed (now green) trees, water filled streets, choked vehicles &......... He was finding joy in everything.

This made me feel how people can find happiness in such small things, & forget all there anxieties.

Apart from this happiness, i also saw a cruel part of it. When the rain stopped & i started walking towards my LG's house, though knowing the streets would be filled half my knee height (i was ready for the fun :P), i saw some people catching pegions. And i was amazed, is it really possible to catch them bare handed. This time it was. They were all wet. Soaked wings could not fly, so they were on the ground helpless. The one who were caught were to be Dinner of some. Such inhumane people could be.

I really ever understood this philosophy of "Taking Advantage Of The Helpless". Quite unethical.

And i knew i couldnt do much about it. Even i was helpless. So ,i walked, carrying a mixed feeling of hapiness, cruelity & helplessness that nature made me see.

Goddamn Education .....

Ya its all abt education & knowledge. Rather to be more specific its abt colleges. Today saw my younger bros JEE Mains results. Sadly though, he didn't qualified. Though the last evening i warned him on phone, to better see his result on his own. I saw all his other Engineering entrance results & they were not that well.(Peculiar Indian Superstition). But as a grown up lad he asked me to do it.

And as i saw the NOT QUALIFIED stuff, there came a flashback of a time, few years back, when the same stuff happened to me. Being very protective i would say "I never eXpected it though", but truly speaking something was lacking [ hardwork obviously :P & definitely not brain ;) ]. But the lad, though younger than me but seems to have grown up, was very much clear in his mind. Not in to a world of illusion & not giving reasons for his failure. Good bros, u have really grown up.

All i m worried abt is his carrer. Thats what this post is all abt. No, not to discuss my bros carrer options, but to say something abt pathetic Indian Education system. When i didn't got qualified, even i was worried, but i got admission in a premiere Indian Institute ( Not IIT's)& luckily so (though many wont agree, am i write friends). So, is it all abt IIT's. Ok the institutes r premiere ones but i guess life doesnt end up without being a part of them. So, its not even abt being an IITian or IIITian or NITian, its abt "WHY the hell ! Is everyone supposed to end up being an engineer ( or may be a Doctor) ?????".

I guess thats how the Indian society thinks today. Being from Kanpur ( a city full of coachings "Coaching Mandi", as it is called ) i have seen 100s of students standing in long ques, under blazing sun, pouring rain & chilling winters may be to gain some knowledge or may be because there parents send them to attend these coachings just because their neigbours child was doin it. What u call : The Sheep Society ( Bhed Chal).

I know someone (Name not mentioned, to avoid all controversies & my head) who wanted to enter in to journalism but in the end landed in to Engineering. i know people who r really good in physics, Maths, literature, art or may be something else but all end up becoming a coding geek . My bros once told me that he never wanted these coachings (a miserable life) but he had to, i guess no other options. And even when he took them he was as serious as saif of Parineeta. And then he wished to go in to space technology & stuff, but i guess even now he has little options.Poor guy. Luckily, i was not such a geek :P (Space sounds like Pagalpan). It was like "Whatever comes my way".

And even know i m managing it, A Confused Weirdo : I told u earlier. Phhhhhh !! But still not getting through these IIT's stuff makes me sick, every single time. Reflecting an unsuccessful part of me.

Well what to growl on. India : My Dear Nation, u r never going to change, atleast not as long as ur in hands of some very great leaders & thinkers.

Mera mulk, mera desh, mera yeh watan
Na shanti, Na unnati (though economic reforms have done some),Na Pyaar (ahhh! Shivsena)ka chaman.........

Whatever. I know one day i will be someone which my parents dream of. And even my bros will be. Good luck DUDE.......

AHH !! I M Lovin It

Truly Guys, the stuff is really cool. Good that i visited SWAPS blog. Real good stuff gal. Now i have got my Mexican & Brazilian names. Yapee !!!!

Your Mexican Name Is...

Don Felix

What's your Mexican Name?

Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is

Travadera Nanini

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Its better then MC De, and i m lovin it ..........

PS : But i dont know why it gives u a different Mexican & Brazilian name every other time.

Something More True

The site is really superb. Atleast for me. So now u will get to know me better.

You Were Actually Born Under:

You are quick witted, charming, and bring luck to all who know you. A bit greedy, you tend to go after what you want - with success. Clever, you seek out knowledge... and eventually use what you know to your advantage. You are very loyal, and you treat your real friends like they are family. You are most compatible with a Dragon or Monkey.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

Delicate, timid, and attractive - sometimes you really do act like a bunny. You're very compassionate and protective of those you love, sometimes too protective. Your home is really your castle, and you make sure your home is comfortable and well furnished. You don't like to argue - and you prefer a quiet, peaceful life. You are most compatible with a Goat or a Pig.

What Year Were You Born Under?

Ya its true again :P

Something True

hey friendz found this stuff on somebodies blog. And i viewed,what it means to be born on my DOB.

Your Birthdate: November 6

A birthday on the 6th of the month adds a tone of responsibility, helpfulness, and understanding to your natural inclinations. Those born on the sixth are more apt to be open and honest with everyone, and more caring about family and friends, too. This is a number associated with responsibility and caring - this birthday lends a degree of concern for others.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Not even a single word is false ;)

Superwomen VS Superman

I dont know how much will i learn from these delhi buses. I have already learned to shake my body without any music & that to in all possible directions. The flexibility of my spinal cord has increased by 5% ;) . I dont know what might have happened to people who have been a victim since years. Whatever ??

The judgement day finals between superwomen & superman began today in the morning in bus no 544 . An obnoxious place though, but doesn't the sudden pick ups & breaks make it more situational. Its was a DTC ( Delhi Travel corporation) bus, and since its a govt. bus so u need to buy proper tickets in order to save fine. I did it being very cautious of not letting my 100 rs. note slip of my pocket.

There was this lady who was sitting in some seat in the bus. She threw (i mean passed) a 2 rs. coin to the collector, & asked for a ticket. But the collector being an experienced one, knew that she was one of those " Unproper indians" who hardly think of contributing to economy. So he very kindly ( u can imagine how kind these collectors really are) to take a proper ticket. And thus asked her where she took the bus from.

And this lady i dont know why, may be in order to prove herself the 21 st century women, who could not entertain a high pitch against her ( But thats not what we call a 21st century women), replied back at a much higher pitch (dont know what she ate in breakfast) said, that should she tell her house address as well. Quite enough a statement to hurt a man's ego.

But before the collector could say anything, one other man ( a bit old, but very cunning) spoke out. "Hey lady !! tell her what he is demanding for". As if he was the leader of manhood. ( As Mr. advani is for secularism).

Now such a statement was enough a challenge for the (pretending) 21 st century lady. It seemed as if she was challened to come in to the ring and have a rumble. And then there were comments & there answers. Though the fight was between superwoman & superman, but eventually it involved almost all there family members. I thought they forgot few relations otherwise they would have also been included.

But very luckily my stand came. I landed out quitely enough. If it would have been few more minutes i guess i would have witnessed a grand fight, which would have been between all men on the bus against all women. And without consent i would have also been included in it. But it didnt happened. And luckily so.

So, the moral of the story is :

1. Very firstly, never mess between two people ( kisi ke phatte main tang mat adao)
2. Secondly, never mess with a superwoman ;) [ Though if u wish to bunk classes u can get few bones broken].
3. In DTC buses always take a proper ticket.
4. Lastly, whenever such feuds take place try to be as far as possible. U will be called a wise man.

This one was about afight, may be next i will come up with a better story.

PS : Not a single word of this story is a fiction. Its true to the full.

Weird life

Life has really become weird these days. I have really screwed up myself & my studies. At a time when people r studyin out of there skins, i m trying to have fun on messenger or rediff or orkut or some other internet crap. That zeal of studying nights & days have never been there. My inner self (very brazen) has always been in look of holidays, as they mean all time for fun.

Its not that i m not in to studying. Or i hate touching the books. I do have aims in life but not that zeal. my lifes like a snails walk. Pathetically slow & unhappening. For the unknowns i m presently in 2 nd year of my dual degree course ( IT + Management). After 1 year i will have to choose my way, either to become a techno freak ( They call it TECHNOCRAT) or to become a manager.

The ghosts of confusion have already anchored there ships in my mind. Oh god !!!! presently i m no good then a confused weirdo. Sometimes i feel of not becoming a coding geek, & its then that my inner voice shouts : " Yes buddy, u have those qualities in u, to become the greatest manager. Who the hell is Arindham ???? You were born to be a manager. Its already written in the books of lord brahma ".

But when i hear about people studying in states universities, i feel like catching a plane. Thats when i feel i was born to be a reasearcher. And than it shouts "Dude, there's an Einstein hidden in some part of u ". And the very fasination of visiting states (or any place except india) boosts up the thought.

And as of this it leads me nowhere. Neither do i fly nor i m on the ground. Its like i m inbetween the two. Totally imbalanced, really confused.

But its always that u have to take ur own decisions. And i m sure i will take one. i have to. Don't know whether i will fall on the ground or will be lost in the outer space. But i will get somewhere ??

So, is it like that i m regreting my not studying ?? Definitely not. Its the student part of me whoes hungry to find his space in the very obnoxious & all chalanging corporate world. But then why am i talking so weird ??

Its because nothin exciting is happening in my life. Even i dont know what excitement i want for myself, but still something is there thats not letting me be pleased. Still trying to be a happy go, least in tension creature , as my friends know me.

Lets see where does this life takes me.........

My Very Own PP's

Since long i had nothin to write. One can continue writing if he has a certain series of events going on in his life. Its not that my life has come to a halt, but its like nothin interesting is happening, & even if it is, its not worth sharing.

But still to continue writing, & to save my blog from boredom, i m putting up some PP's : Poor poems. Some composed by me, i don know why, may be because i read some good poems on other blogs or somewhere else & tried to test my poetic self. But all in vain. If u will read it u will conclude that its not better than a paragraph. So here they r :

Caution :::: If u don't like the PP's plz do not sympathise, or cry over the future of literature or my poetic self.

1. This Girl

I like this girl
I can feel the way she writes : her thoughts, feelings & dreams
I can feel the way she hides : her emotions, love & beliefs
I can feel the way she rides : her desires, needs & deeds
I can feel the way she likes : her friends, family & some geeks
I can feel the way she hates : her stupidity, silliness & mistakes ( Though i love them)

I can feel the way she loves : her world & herself.

May be one day i could meet her
And make her feel what i feel................


May be next one would be better ;) .

Delhi Blues !!!!!!!!!

Hey it's not like the Hyderabad Blues, dil pe mat le haath .................... rather its about yesteday, me & Delhi .

Yesterday i went out of the NGO at 3:00 in the afternoon, 2:30 hrs before my usual time. I had an unofficial meeting fixed with my elder brother at the Central school bus stand from where we were to go to the Lajpat Nagar Central Market. I was waiting for my bus, but it seemed as if it was not going to come till next century, so i climbed down the footpath, towards another bus and asked the conductor, would his bus go to Central school, and he very willingly said yes. So, as an unware soul i climbed on the bus, trusting not so trustable bus conductor.

As the bus continued its journey, and passed by a diversion, from where mine bus used to go, i thought i should get down, but then i thought may be he goes to the central school stand taking some other route, be it a longer one, to have maximum profits. So, half confused, and half assured from the conductor i stayed on to the bus. Then as the bus passed by DAV college, where i have been earlier & where my cousin studies, i was at once alarmed. I realised that i was befooled by the conductor.( such Stupid of me & him !!!!) Even i knew i could do nothing of that pathetic soul who has accustomed himself to the rocking delhi buses.

So, immediately i got down and sat in another bus which would take me back to Andrew's gunj. But in desperation of saving my time, i landed on Moolchand bus stand and started walking, though i had it in my mind that it would take me another year to reach the Central school stand if i continued walking. So, once again i took another bus, bus no. 724 .But today was not my lucky day. The way it was going through, i felt quite unsual & knowing that my day was not good, i got to ask the conductor that would i be able to reach Central school stand. As of my heights of dumbness i came to know that the place from where i took that bus was the central school stand.

Suddenly i got out of the bus, and with all will power decided not to get on to any bus anymore. Walking by the road i felt like "Sheep In the Big City". But then with all my logics working and my brain running like an internal combustion engine somehow i got to the desired place " The Central School stand". And not to my utter suprise he was not there. I loooked at my watch it was 4:00 pm. I have been a victim of "Delhi Bhulbhulaiya" since last 1 hr, quite unluckily so.

Now was i going to do. Whatever !!!! I will go to the Central Market. But what if i didn't find my brother ???? So what isn't that market worth exploring, eith such beautiful faces around. And may being lonely woould be a boon, free to do whatever i wish to. So, i started walked on one of those traffic busy roads of the indian capital, without knowing where to go. ( My God !!!! Am i not Adventurous.............)

Asking the passer byes after after metre or two, i ended up in front of a street which everybody said would lead me to the ravishing central market. Very excited, and all confused i came upto the street as asked a rickshaw puller standing by how could i reach the market following that road. Quite casually he said " Leave the first "CUT", and on the second take a right turn".
So, strictly following his instructions i left the first turn to the left, and when i was about to go in to the second turn towards right, i thought i should better confirm it ( U see !!!! i have a brain, I knew it was not my lucky day). And when i asked a kind old man he said that i was not to go fom there rather from the next turn to the right.

Now, only god or that geek knew what he meant by a "CUT". Was it a turn, be it left or right, or was he talking about a Chauraha. At times People can really be obnoxious.

So with all excitement & confusion, i reached the market. And as i was about to enter, swirling wind blew. It was a sort of storm. I stood wherever i was. I was totally unaware, from where & when could a peace of hoarding come flying and take away my head. But then everyting calmed down, as if i was given a sound permission to enter the market. So, after 2 hrs of ultimate bewilderment i was at my destination.

And i knew i was never going to find my brother out of anywhere. I thought it better to enjoy myself. Then it started raining, a beautiful moment to be at a beautiful place. Though the place was not that beautiful but the people were. Since it was raining & i couldnot wander around, i though of dropping on to an icecream. As i went to the parlor, i saw a beautiful lady standing there. And i was happy : " Ice cream + beautiful women " WOW !!!!!!!! I love both ( i m not a flirt). But then it has been only few seconds that i was in dreams, there came a roaring voice.
A man was shouting at the waiter. He was her boyfriend !!!!!! EEEEEEE !! as soon as i realised it i went straight to the counter " Uncle can i have a icecream plz". I quitely ate it & slippped out quickly.

Now, it was the time to look out for my brother. I was just wandering on the road, when again a voice shouted behind, and i was like " Is it her boyfriend ???? should i run for my life ???? ". But it was my brother &luckily so. My cousin was also with him.

Then we went on for shopping. My brother bought a peter england shirt for my father, then at the time of payment began the discount & stuff. My cousin started it out. These girls always do that. And i was like dear sir i m not with them. But its like good. U can only understand the importance of money only when u earn it . This month when i will get my very first salary, eveni would be arguing the rickshaw pullers for even a 5 rs. coin, which i never used to do before. Thats what heard work teahes u. Survival !!!!!!!!!!!

Then we went on shopping. Went to 3C's . Nice please to shop.
And in the end i realised, it was not my unlucky day. I mean. how many days have been there ful of such enthu, excitement, pleasure & ofcourse Confusion . At the end of the day i was very happy.

So, live up ur day to the fullest. Try to confuse urself with the rocking delhi buses & stands even if ur a expert at them. Mind it u will surely Ejoy !!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Delhi Blues to all .

Me, Myself & Everybody ( including IRINY )

It was worth for William wordsworth to say " It's good to love someone than not to love", may be because he had someone to love or praise. May be because he was happy to have someone who was there to be loved. Its so, because people usually make a point ( which later become thoughts) only when either they r happy or sad. And its quite a good guess that william dear was happy. Now, there comes the sole reason of writing this post, it's HAPPINESS.

Last evening during one of those obnoxious bus rides, a war broke out between me & myself. There have always been HOT wars between the two of them. Something u could call as an internal discussion. But this time it was quite serious, as it involved me, myself and everybody else. And also that the fight was over happiness. Whether me ( i.e. I ) is happy or not.

This has always occurred to me, whenever i would see a couple around (mind u i m not a girl woooer, though i like them), how desperately i wished to have someone with me aswell, someone to understand me, someone to talk to, someone to love. And whenever i wished so, the question of myself being happy rose as high as (the late) Twin Towers. Whenever i would see a women happily married with her husband (its just an example, don't dare to take it otherwise), i thought am i as happy as she is. Is it a false happiness that i m running after ??????? I don't know.

Can hapiness come to me only when i would have a girl ?????? What am i exactly lookin for. Why is it that my hapiness, my life,my thoughts, my deeds & my needs r influenced by others. (including girls). Do i have an identity ?(As a lover ). Or is it that i have never looked out for one. I have been walking behind blindly, influenced blindly, like a SHEEP. Ya, influenced by the cheap sheep society.

Hey hey hey !!!! i m not a dead freak, who is full of sorrow. There have been times when i have been happy right from the bottom of my heart. And its not that i m drowned in seas of sorrow these days. I m happy even today, but its just that something is missing. All i want to know is that is the "something missing" an illusion or a reality.
Though I try to be happy watching the beauty around me, by praising the beautiful faces i see (only girls i m talking of ;) ) . But still something that i want is not there. There is something that i m looking for, something that others have but i don't.

I m not trying to prove that i m the unluckiest person in the entire universe, i feel lucky of having such nice parents, loving brothers, caring friends and i feel lucky to be able to see such beauty around me, to be able to hear the nice music playing on the PC behind me, to be able to sense fear, danger, darkness, light, hope, hapiness. To be able to understand love ( which i feel i do understand, how stupid !!!!! ) and i feel blessed because i know that one that i would be able to understand love, one day there will be someone who will make me understand it.

So, why such anxiety, its all because i feel something is missing.

May be there would be a time of completeness, a time of hapiness, a time of praise, a time of love and then i would say to u all :

Hey guy " Love is in the air ............................I can smell it , i think i m in LOVE !!!!

Lets hope for the best. As me( I ) says " Its better to have hope than to cry,
its like a rope with which u can climb
----- the skies of dream
And, if u have dreams
U have something to achieve
So keep walking the road to love
one day u will find ur special one "

Yapeeeeeeee !!!!
May be i cannot write a poem but atleast i can write a paragraph.
Who says i m not good at writing (poems cum paragraphs).